Getting Unstuck by Reframing How We Think
I read recently that, all too often, our suffering is the gap between the knowing and the doing. That feeling when you know that turning off the TV and working on your novel would do your soul good, but you don’t move. You feel stuck – something isn’t quite right, like the radio isn’t quite tuned and everything is fuzzy. You just can’t seem to shift.
One of the reasons we stay stuck is the ‘anticipated discomfort’ of change. Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves from anything unfamiliar. Your body says, Why on earth would you run that hill when you are perfectly comfortable right now!? The crazy thing is that 100% of the time, I feel better after running that hill – no matter how much it hurt. [Read more on changing through physical movement here.]
When we work with clients, we talk about reframing how we think about something that seems hard. Moving from the stuck story and old pattern thinking to an ownership style of thinking. First, name what is hard. Then create your action – I choose to do this thing. As that choice becomes more comfortable and automatic, you naturally move into the place of gratitude – I get to do this thing.
FROM This is hard.
TO I choose to
TO I get to!
Here are some specific examples.
NUTRITION
FROM: It’s hard to make dinner everyday.
TO: I choose to plan my dinners in advance to help reduce the decision fatigue.
TO: I get to cook wonderful food to stay healthy.
MOVEMENT
FROM: It’s hard to workout.
TO: I choose to workout x times a week to support my strength and endurance.
TO: I get to workout and stay fit and strong.
SLEEP
FROM: It’s hard to get up early.
TO: I choose to make getting to bed at a decent time a priority so that my energy improves.
TO: I get to go to bed early so I can get up feeling refreshed.
MINDSET
FROM: It’s hard to find time to pause with the days being so hectic.
TO: I choose to take three specific breaks throughout the day in order to reset my mind.
TO: I get to set aside time every day to reset.
CONNECTION
FROM: It’s hard to be with friends – schedules are so difficult.
TO: I choose to make plans with one friend per month to get and give support.
TO: I get to plan a fun get together with friends and catch up.
Did one of the reframes above resonate? Did it cause you to wince or smile knowingly because you’ve been there? When we hear the words It’s hard in our head, what it really is, is whining. It’s not pretty. So stop it! As soon as I see this happening in my own life, I’ve gotta DO SOMETHING to make change.
A win in any area is a win in all areas. And the best part is that there is this ripple effect. Once you pick something you know you want to close the gap on and start feeling differently, you start automatically doing it in other areas. Let’s say you start taking a walk three days a week around the block. The extra movement and sunshine helps your afternoon energy and focus and you soon notice you have a desire to upgrade your lunch choices. It’s a beautiful thing to witness. One small change leads to others.
Here is one more practical tool. Write down your progress. Make a chart, check a calendar, use markers…anything to create a visual tool that helps you SEE your progress – that’s powerfully motivating. As you mark each day DONE, you will start to gain momentum and naturally want to keep the pattern going.
Bottom line: Stop whining and start taking ownership of your lifestyle choices. It’s about day-in and day-out discipline. You own your results. We are here to support you. Book a Consult.
